Condition Serious Hain (in a non-serious way)

Seriousness is a very serious disease. And when I checked that Indiblogger.in have brought out this contest with Cadburys India to blog about your encounter with people jinki #conditionserioushain, how can I be left behind. This is my entry for this contest. 

If you have encountered such people, then this post is right for you. You can also head out to the Facebook Page of Cadburys 5 Star which is made for people like us and people jinki #conditionserioushain.

I am a woman. Brought up in a world where emphasis is given to your education and career and well, also marriage. At every phase of life one meets such people who nag, poke their nose in our personal affairs and blurt out without thinking and feeling about other person's feelings and emotions. Through this medium I have tried to share my encounters with such people at every stage of life.

जब हम छोटे थे तब वो पूछा करते थे

"बड़े हो के क्या बनोगे"

पढ़ लिख कर जब बाहर निकले फिर बोले

"तुम नौकरी कब करोगे"

उफ ये जालिम दुनिया सच में कितनी curious हैं

बच ले बेटा इनसे, इनकी #conditionserioushain

जब नौकरी मिली तो हम खुश हुए

की अब हैं दुनिया कदमो में

पर माता-पिता से ये पूछ के

उन्होने फिर हमे डाल दिया सदमे में

"चलो नौकरी अच्छी मिल गयी, बच्चा ambitious हैं

शादी कब करोगे इन्ही, ये उमर बड़ी precious हैं"

पर हम शान से चले

बेफिक्री से नौजवानी जिये

और फिर कुछ सालो के बाद

हम भी शादीशुदा हुए

पर क्या काहे उनके बारे में जिनकी #conditionserioushain

एक महीने बाद ही पूछ बैठे "बेटा गुड न्यूज़ कब हैं"

हम समझ गये हम जान गये

इनके सवालो का अंत नहीं हैं-

गुड न्यूज़ इनको दे भी दे तो फिर ये पूछेंगे

बेटा पेहला तो हो गया, दूसरा कब हैं

अगर हम मोटे हैं तो पूछेंगे

"तुम पतले क्यू नहीं होते"

और जो हम पतले हो तो कहेंगे

"घर वाले खाने को कुछ नहीं देते"

सच में इनके सवालो से हम भी थोड़े furious हैं

भगवान बचाये इनसे, उफ इनकी #conditionserioushain

Quote-Unquote

"Tomorrow God is not going to ask-

What did you ddream?

What did you think?

What did you plan?

What did you desire?

BUT He is going to ask-

What did you do?"

           In my college 3rd year, I got to read this quote somewhere and found it profound enough to hang it in front of my study table so that I could take motivation and study instead of just day-dreaming planning to study.
            My room-mate when saw a new quote hanging above my study-table came over to my desk to read it. Her reaction: "Dear, God is not going to ask that as well.."

All in a day's PLAY

Act-I

Time: Sunday late morning, circa-2011.

Venue: Breakfast table

Scene: Husband is reading newspaper. Wife is doing something which she would be unable to recall later but chances are she would either surfing internet meaninglessly or reading the Sunday-newspaper supplements.

Wife (  last evening her husband had got 3 entry passes of a local fest for her and another friend-couple which was scheduled to happen when he would not be in town): Oh ZZ you are so nice. I am so lucky to have you. Actually I am very lucky to have such nice ‘men’ in my life.

Husband: ‘Men!!??’

Wife: Yes. You, my father and A. (Pointing out some recent incidents)Look, you got me entry passes even though you wont be able to come for that fest yourself, and remember, how papa helped me in getting my dress done  in super-busy time for Diwali. And during our childhood, A used to cycle in hot June afternoons to get me ice-cream whenever I wished.

Husband: Hmmm..

Wife (continuing with the feeling of gratitude): I wonder why you guys are so nice to me? I am definitely so lucky that som….

Husband (interrupting wife mid-way):  We do it because we know you will not let us live in peace if we don’t. (bursting into a huge laugh)

Wife (coundnt speak a word as she joins her husband laughing out load)

 Act-II

:p Just couldnt resist it.:p:p

 Image Courtesy: Google images

Realisation: Age is just a number

They asked my 12th class percentage.
80.6
Four marks less and I would have fallen from 80+ criteria.

They ask my graduation marks.
74.8
6 marks more and I would have passed with distinction.

They asked my age.
I rounded it off by a year and half.
Uhmm, well, AGE is just a number, no..

Favourite Rain Song

As I was blog-hopping I came across a blog where someone has written down her favourite rain songs. This brought back the memories of an incident that happened last year.

So, we were on our way to Rishikesh when it suddenly started raining. It was beautiful weather and we both were humming tunes in between the conversations and silence.

Me: You know what is my favourite rain song?

ZZ(driving=concentrating on the road=eyes on the road and ears towards me and mind dont know where): No. Tell me..

Me (ghumming the son): This one. Have you seen the video. Akshay and Sonali are there in it.. Great Video..lovely music..

ZZ: Ohh..Yes, good song..

Me: I dont have that song in my laptop. I soo want to listen it.Download this song for me, ok.

ZZ: Sure..I too like that song. Akshay wala naa.

Me: yeah..

The song I was talking of is this one..

I really like this song. The voices of Hariharan and Chitra creates magic.

Those were the days when we were in the long distance relationship. The next time ZZ came, he told me non-chalantly that he has brought the video song and I get it copied before he leaves. I excitedly took the pendrive and dear friends this was the song waiting for me..

Apparantly, irrespective of my soulful rendition of that song, the only thing the man's mind registered was "Akshay"+"Rain Song".

Ah well, Cest la vie..:)

Generalising Magazines

After so many dayss I laughed so much that I was left with aching cheeks..
Sample Conversation:
Friend: you know J, my cousin appeared in the "Playboy" magazine with..
Me, ZZ, Her husband (rotfl): what!!??
Friend ( finally realising the name that she had mentioned and a bit embarrassed): oh not playboy..what's that magazine called??!! ummm.."Men's Health"..yes, he appeared in that magazine..
Ahh well, we now have a topic to tease J and her..

And thereby hangs a tale

So I bought this book sometime in February last year. The book is a collection of short-stories by Jeffrey Archer. one of the reason i bought this book was the waves that one of its story "Caste-off" was creating. This was the true story based in India but my favourite among all of them was "The Queen's Birthday Telegram". short and sweet. After I was done reading the book, ZZ took this book with him . Those were the days when we were in a long-distance relationship. I had praised very highly of this book stating that the stories are short and easy to read. He took that book saying it would make a good read on his train –journeys.

Now reading for pleasure is not ZZ's forte. Months passed, weather changed, vacations were taken, bags were changed, I moved in with him but the book never left his side. He always carried that book along with him on his way to office. No matter how many times he emptied, cleared and refilled his back-pack, that book proudly lied there. He carries the back-up regularly to office, with the book inside it hoping he would get to read in his Metro ride to-and-fro home. Now in the so crowded metros, I can well imagine no one can get a chance to stand properly lest think about reading.

So as I saw him once again, ready to go office, his back-pack hanged on his shoulders, with the book inside, I thought, so apt. “And thereby hangs a tale”.

Holland vs Netherlands

Circa 1995-96
Characters:
Me 11-12 years old.
A, My brother 2years younger to me

Scene: We both were alone in the house. While surfing channels, my brother came across a football match on some Sports channel. Being an avid sports fan (as he proclaimed then), he got hooked to the match. I was not a keen sports enthusiast. All I wanted to watch was “MTV”.
Me: A, change the channel.
A: (royal ignore)
Me(ordering): Didn’t you listen, change the channel. I don’t want to see that stupid match. Its not even a ‘LIVE’ match!! Some old match..
A: Let me watch na di..
Me (tried snatching the remote from him)
A (successful in seizing the remote to himself)
Me: (got up from the couch and stood in front of the screen making weird body movements in order to not let him see the TV screen at all..
A (annoyed) ; kya hain di.. get lost. Have I ever done this to you? Why do you always does this? I..
Me (yelling): You don’t even know which two countries are playing this match, and still you want to see the match! huh..
A: I know..I know (still trying to catch a glimpse of the match)
Me (in my cunning Judge avatar) : ok, you have to earn the right to watch the match..I ll ask you a question.If you get the right answer, you can watch the match and if couldn’t then I ll have the remote. Fine?
A: (perplexed but seeing that this is his only chance to view the match uninterruptedly) Okay. But it has to be something of my standard, ok.
Those were the days when we were ardent followers of “Bournvita Quiz Contest”. So quizzing each other on current affairs and general knowledge was our time-pass.
Me: ok. It would be an easy one. Tell me, which 2 countries are playing this match?
A(fading smile) : oye..!! let me at least see the screen. I cant even see their jerseys.
I moved from the screen and checked that the score –board was not poping at any side of the screen at that moment. After a good 15 second. I moved back to my place of being a wall in front of him and TV.
Me: So tell me..
A: Give me time..
Me: Ok , I will give you a hint. One of the team is “Holland”. How did I guess?(proud of my knowledge) Because they are wearing the ‘Orange’ jersey. Orange is their national colour of sorts. Now tell me which country the other team represents.
I myself had no effing idea about the teams.
A: (blank face but impressed by my knowledge of Geography and football)
Me: Time up! Give me the remote.
A: (like a dignified loser handed me the remote): But you first have to tell me which is the other team? (ah, the thirst for knowledge;))
Me: Stupid, you don’t even know this and then you proclaim that you are a know-all in sports. It’s between “Holland” and “Netherlands”!! (still suspecting that I might get caught on my ‘high-risk' bluff)
A (with a saddened face and nodding his head) : ohh..
Me (controlling my laughter hard changed the channel to MTV and still couldn't stop grinning all the time of her master-stroke and awaiting her parents to tell them the incident).
That was the age of stupidity of my brother.
Later in the evening, this story was told in front of the whole family how my brother came to believe that Holland and Netherlands were different countries and I know for sure, I would be narrating this story of their father's knowledge to his kids also.. Yes, wicked me:)

ek choti si love poem :D

"Yes, love is in the food I cook
And in your lavish praises
But, turn and see the love when I look
As you volunteer to do the dishes"
:D :D
P.S I have changed my header from the MS-Paint image I made to the photo ZZ clicked. Tell me how it is??

Quote-Unquote

As I was browsing the net in the office, I came across this very beautiful and profound piece of wisdom on marriage.
It reads,
" To keep your marriage brimming,

With love in the loving cup,

Whenever you're wrong admit it;

Whenever you're right shut up. "

Immediately, as a good partner I CtrlC CtrlV it and send this to ZZ through email hoping he would imbibe the lesson of these words.(Oh yes I am die-hard optimistic still thinking I can change my husband..) As we had some argument a day before this piece made sense too..
Afterwords when I checked my mailbox this was what ZZ shot back.
“
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Whenever you're right shut up ..........”

Yes..Yes!!

Once upon a time, there was a boy and there was a girl. They both happened to be our immediate seniors. The boy was a nice guy and I respect him a lot. The girl was a sweet, short and I don’t-know-why-they-linked-him-to-her type, in other words they were no match. Anyways , that’s college life and no, they were not an item. Just that the friends of the girl used to tease her with his name. They both were a part of College Club of which I was also a part. It was a farewell party in that Club and all of its members were gathered and the party was in full flow. The game that was being played "Dumb Charade- “Only Hindi Movies..”"
The game was in full flow and then it comes the girl’s turn.
Girl picked up the chit and read the movie name, blushed a little and her request to change the movie name was stridently rejected.
She acted/ tried to act the name of the movie.
The boy was very sport and was quite enthused in the game. So there she was acting and the rest of 15-20 people trying to guess the name.
In the 3- letter movie after enacting the first word, she was explaining the second word through her actions. Random guesses were flying..
Out of a sudden,

Boy(exclaining): “Mujhse shaadi karogi!!!!???”.

Girl (jumping with joy) : “Yes!!!! Yes!!”

Boy clenching his fist and grinning wide "Yay, i made it" and girl smiling and sighing with relief "so i am done.."

Me(with a group of friends): **Laughing our hearts out**

She stepped down and then it was the turn of some other guy..
And the game went on happily thereafter.

[Random post.A couple of days back we were playing this same game in a office-party and it was sort of boring. It reminded me of this piece-de-irresistible of Dumb-Charade..]

Pic Courtesy: varchasva.sjbit.ac.in/2009/images/dc1.jpg

Addiction to FRIENDS

What happens when you watch marathon sessions of FRIENDS Season 1-10 for past 4 nights sleeping at ungodly 2 am .

1) You just wish the office ends up soon so that you can go back to watch the remaining episodes.

2) You start humming “Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat” when you find that the office is empty and nobody can listen you .

Season 4 finished…Today onwards, Season 5.:)

P.S: And no, Phoebes is not my favourite Friend character.

Engrossed in work

It was some requirement from the client .He wanted some changes in the report provided by us. I began modifying the report code and started testing it. The phone at the other table was continuously ringing, soI rushed, picked the receiver and said "16546 (this was the data with which i was doing testing)...err.....sorry ..ummmm...hello"

:/

GIRL: I want to get married and live a happy life.
BOY: Pick one.
(Read it in TOI cartoon strip)

the english teacher

"The way he handled us (in childhood) we used to think that he would become an commander in Army or Police officer but he ended up as an Auditor in a govt firm and is nose-led by his wife."
-Narrator depicting his elder brother.
-Novel: The English Teacher( R.K Narayan)

"Kareena Aunty bhi to.........."

There live 2 cute twins in my neighbourhood.They are damn cute and naughty.Just 3 year old girls and they can make you fall in love with them with their sweet innocenct and expressive chats.....So one day they had come at my place and were as usual, as the kids do, looking around the rooms, fiddling around,asking about the new stuff they see ,picking whatever amuses their curiosity et al.

So, just to amuse them and have fun,I asked "lets dance,k".they grinned.The player started playing a slow song to which they showed their displeasure,I changed it quickly and as "Ye ishq hai"(Jab We Met fame) floated in the air ,their feet started tapping and they were charged to scorch the dance floor...Soon one of them instead of dancing started swirling around (errrr i mean swirling become her dance steps)..I tried to stop her saying "mat karo.chakkar aa jayega, bachche....", her reply was enough to make me ROTFL "naiiiiiiiiiiii,Kareena Aunty bhi to aise hi ghoomti hain gaane mein..." :D:D
Hain koi jawaab ab???

Management Lessons from my maid

My maid has worked for 26 years, or so she proclaims.So here is the gyan I have got from her 'Professionalism' (huhh??) in a year:))

Management Lessons from my maid:

DO's

1) Whenever the employer(M,me) seems angry, not in good mood dont talk much to her instead work hard, clean the gas-stove ,wash the dishes in time and yes when she, the employer reaches from the office be ready with a cup of hot tea.

2) Never directly ask for money/increment.Instead weave the story of how the other employers have increased their maid's salary even though they work less harder than the maid.

3) Never nag/ask for salary on the due date.Money can wait.If the employer is not paying her on time there may be some genuine reasons like she may not be having the ready cash or was forgetting to pay at times.BUT if the delay is prolonged, hit the button and ask directly.

4) Be polite to employer's family.

5) Work is worship.No matter there are temptations to be back in your home and not come to duty, BUT come and work.If taking leave, duly tell the employer with prior notice.

6)Have a heart.Be human.Every employer is a human too so care for your employer.

7) Money is not the most important thing in life BUT it is important.So whenever you feel you deserve it, fight for it.

8) Be resouceful, even if you cant read, be ready to go to the extra mile to get the parcha(note) written by your employer for you read by anyone nearby so that you can act accordingly.

9)Have multiple skills and let your employer know of them or at least have a hint of them.This way your employer can utilize more of you making you indispensable.

10)Look for new oppurtunities.Feel free to show your interest whenever you find one where you can give your inputs and ask for recommendations from your employer if needed....

Office-Office

The company for which I work has separate units for engineering,admin and manufacturing.There are strict security norms followed in the engineering and manufacturing units.For going to manufacturing unit we had to get a Red-Pass issued from our Senior and our Company I-Card which is checked by the Security guards at the manufacturing gate.

On a fine day, as I had to go to the manufacturing unit for some work I get my Red-Pass signed by my senior and start searching hurriedly in my hand-bag.(On a side note ,unluckily I had forgot to bring my I-Card that day.Careless me!).So there I was, standing beside my desk and looking for my I-Card in my bag.
My senior: "What happened??"
Me:"It seems I have forgot to bring my I-Card,sheesh!"(still searching in my bag)
My senior: "haah, Girls carry so bade-bade bags but dont carry necessary items!! hahaha"
Me: :-